To teddy..

Today is my 3rd day after an appemdix operation..which still painful..huhu..im recovering thanks to besties who spend their weekend to take care of me, u all are the best friends anyone cud have..huhuu..terharu jugak lagi.. Anyways..because of my sickness n everything else that happened in the hospital i finally noe why my teddy keep pushing me away, sigh~ ..breaking my heart when im already in pain physically..myb i deserve it..

Teddy,
U said u wanted to move on for a better life, so i said ok..i'll try to let u go. Then u came back wanting me back in ur arms..still i said ok eventhou the truth is my heart were in pieces..and then i met sumone who in the same situation..so we talked n we connected..when u found out and u wanted to leave me again, but i fight for u n asked for another chance to make tis relationship work. So u say yes..but i didnt realised my heart havent recover from wat u said before..myb i just love u too much to actly let u go..myb i needed u too much to let u go.. And then u told me that everything u said before is not 100% true..u cant live without me..ur parents didnt say exactly wat u told me..u just wanna push me away to test our love..all i cud think at the time is wat have i done to u that wasnt enough to show u how much i love u..to make u realized that i loved u with all my heart..?

Teddy,
Im sorry that im not the best for u..im sorry that im not what u expected me to be..im sorry that i cannnot take the REASON u gave me..im sorry that i felt betrayed for all your words..and im sorry that i cannot looked at u the same way as before..im sorry thing didnt worked as we planned..for i am alfraid that my heart wont recover if u push me away again, if u ever says anything that hurts again..

Teddy,
I hope in the future u'll find sumone who can love u more than i do..who can treat u the way u want them to and i hope u'll live happily.. How i feel right now has no meaning..thanks to understanding friends..thanks to the strength my family shows to me..i will eventually recover..i hope so.. So today im physically and emotionally weak..thanks to tis operation i've gone throu i got two weeks of medical leaves to recover both physically n emotionally. My physical will recover that fast but my heart will need more than two weeks..sigh~ at least by the time i have to work my heart is in a better condition than now.. Last word from me.. Just like ur fav song says .. Sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurt instead..

Heart..pls be strong..love, pls find me someone who loves me..