To teddy..

Today is my 3rd day after an appemdix operation..which still painful..huhu..im recovering thanks to besties who spend their weekend to take care of me, u all are the best friends anyone cud have..huhuu..terharu jugak lagi.. Anyways..because of my sickness n everything else that happened in the hospital i finally noe why my teddy keep pushing me away, sigh~ ..breaking my heart when im already in pain physically..myb i deserve it..

Teddy,
U said u wanted to move on for a better life, so i said ok..i'll try to let u go. Then u came back wanting me back in ur arms..still i said ok eventhou the truth is my heart were in pieces..and then i met sumone who in the same situation..so we talked n we connected..when u found out and u wanted to leave me again, but i fight for u n asked for another chance to make tis relationship work. So u say yes..but i didnt realised my heart havent recover from wat u said before..myb i just love u too much to actly let u go..myb i needed u too much to let u go.. And then u told me that everything u said before is not 100% true..u cant live without me..ur parents didnt say exactly wat u told me..u just wanna push me away to test our love..all i cud think at the time is wat have i done to u that wasnt enough to show u how much i love u..to make u realized that i loved u with all my heart..?

Teddy,
Im sorry that im not the best for u..im sorry that im not what u expected me to be..im sorry that i cannnot take the REASON u gave me..im sorry that i felt betrayed for all your words..and im sorry that i cannot looked at u the same way as before..im sorry thing didnt worked as we planned..for i am alfraid that my heart wont recover if u push me away again, if u ever says anything that hurts again..

Teddy,
I hope in the future u'll find sumone who can love u more than i do..who can treat u the way u want them to and i hope u'll live happily.. How i feel right now has no meaning..thanks to understanding friends..thanks to the strength my family shows to me..i will eventually recover..i hope so.. So today im physically and emotionally weak..thanks to tis operation i've gone throu i got two weeks of medical leaves to recover both physically n emotionally. My physical will recover that fast but my heart will need more than two weeks..sigh~ at least by the time i have to work my heart is in a better condition than now.. Last word from me.. Just like ur fav song says .. Sometimes it last in love but sometimes it hurt instead..

Heart..pls be strong..love, pls find me someone who loves me..

awak....!!!!

life a mess..wat we done to clean up the mess? or all that we did just add up to the mess?

hurm..im a mess and i can only feel so crystal clear when i see ur face, its like all the weight were lifted off my chest.

bottom line is..i missed u so much..

s0 c0mf0rtable..

lalalala..finally i got time to update this. i've been wanting to write this down since my bff break-off with her Xbf aka the drama king??...huhu..

so tis is how the story goes..have u ever think h0w do u felt so comfortable with sumone in a relationship? as i see it, when we got older it kinda get easier..y?

hurm..maybe the truth is we're just too ready to start a family? ahahaa..really, i think tats y..we may not notice it, but beyond our very own conscious mind we wanted to. tats how we feel so comfortable, so close, so happy..so easy to gave in. we see everything as so promising even the truth is not so i should say..

s0 wat happen when things doesnt really fall where it should have and didnt go as we planned it? i wish all of us can answer tat..for me maybe we shouldn't give in too early? maybe tats just wat we really need to do..

i believe each n everyone of us have different subconscious needs. finding n knowing those needs is the challenge..might be a life long challenge for some..but knowing will sumhow helps us,if u noe wat u want then u can work on thing to get wat u want..

all n all..i wish everybody all the best..may all ur dream come true..kekekee..

x0x0

Brainless beauty or beautiful brain?

a friend asked "‎what do u want? Brainless beauty or a beautiful brain?"

and another friend answered "a true man would definately want both :) it shows his pride yet a partner whom can lead her man to his destiny, and that requires brains.
an egoistic man would want a brainless beauty who would say yes to everything.
a man who has no sense in... life would want a woman with beautiful brain so she can lead him."

all i cud say is "whoa..s0o true"

hurm...

hurm..its been more than 24hours n u'r still mad at me? well..y not its my fault right? but somehow, i'v started to wonder..have i done anythin wrong? its just a drink..a teh tarik session with a college n u punish me as if im having an affair behind ur back? i'v apologized about it anyway and now u wont even talk to me? i'm not mad..its just make me sad..i miss u, so much..n u keep pushing me away. i guess saying 'im sorry' is just not enough..i wish u would tell me what else u want me to do, coz this 'not talking' scene is a waste of time since i noe u missed me too.. :p

~Love da Way U Lie~

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can’t breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It’s like I’m in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She f—–g hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I’m leaving you
No you ain’t
Come back
We’re running right back
Here we go again
It’s so insane
Cause when it’s going good
It’s going great
I’m Superman
With the wind in his bag
She’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad
It’s awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who’s that dude
I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you’re with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting f—–g sick
Of looking at ‘em
You swore you’ve never hit ‘em
Never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Now you’re in each other’s face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit ‘em
You push
Pull each other’s hair
Scratch, claw, bit ‘em
Throw ‘em down
Pin ‘em
So lost in the moments
When you’re in ‘em
It’s the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it’s best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It’s a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin’ over
But you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn’t mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper’s just as bad
As mine is
You’re the same as me
But when it comes to love
You’re just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn’t you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed
I’ll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to f—–g leave again
I’ma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that’s alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that’s alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

p/s - love the way u lie...

KISSIN' U..! ~wink2~

Sparks fly
Its like electricity
I might die
When I forget how to breath
You get closer and there’s
No where in this world I would rather be
Time stops
Like everything around me
Its frozen
And nothing matters but these
Few moments when you open my mind to things
I’ve never seen

Cause when I’m kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I’ve been trying to find
Falls right into place
You’re all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I’m kissing you

When I’m kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I’ve been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I’m kissing you

Past loves
They never got very far
Walls of made sure
I’ve got in my heart
And I promise I wouldn’t do this till
I knew it was right for me

But no one (no one)
No guy that I met before
Could make me (make me)
Feel so right and secure
And have you noticed
I lose my focus
And the world around me disappears

Cause when I’m kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I’ve been trying to find
Falls right into place
You’re all that it takes
My doubts fade away
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
When I’m kissing you

When I’m kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I’ve been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I’m kissing you

I’ve never felt nothing like this
You’re making me open up
No point in even trying to fight this
It kinda feels like it’s love

Cause when I’m kissing you
My senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece
I’ve been trying to find
Falls right into place
You’re all that it takes
My doubts fade away
When I’m kissing you

When I’m kissing you
It all starts making sense
And all the questions
I’ve been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes
When I’m kissing you