true love..

true love..we often hear these words..most of us believed in it (men & women)..the question is where did we got this true love idea? does it really exist anyway? maybe it came from the movies we watch, books we read, frens maybe? but does it exist in this cruel world? i wonder..n sometimes doubt it. the truth is..i dunno..for real..i dunno.. but i do wish true love exist in this world, somehow. so that the world wont be such a harsh place..so that at least there's hope..

another interesting question wud me how the hell do we noe whether that person is the so called "the one"? i guess no matter wat u do, "the one" is hard to find..doesn't it? only the lucky one wud be able to b with their "the one".. am i delusional be believing that s0meday i'll find "the one"? hahaaa..u tell me..

call me delusional..call me insane..i'll hold on to this true love hope..wahahaa.. ;)

..inconsolable..

huney..
i missed u so much..
pls be back s0on..
im inconsolable when ur not around..

~Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside it's killing me
Cause all i ever wanted, it comes right down to you (to you)
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no.
I memorized the number
So why can't i make the call
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility (ohh)~

fallin..

love..most of the time we heard peeps says "im falling in love with u.."
but we hardly heard anyone says "im falling out of love..with u"

my questios : is falling out of love possible? y? love dies??
well i have no idea..lol :p

i guess love..relationship is no easy business..things happens in between of everything..
so just imagine one day u wake up beside someone whom u loved ur whole life and suddenly all that u cud say is "i dont love u anymore"..demn! is it even possible?

RE: things i want to do after a break-up..

1. Lay down at the beach the whole day - DONE
2. Eat lots of lots of lots of ice cream - NOT YET
3. go bungee jumping - WHER TO FIND THIS THING??
4. workout at the gym 4 hours a day for whole month - STARTING FROM FEB!!
5. shout as loud as I can - DONE
6. go mountain climbing - NOT YET
7. try scuba diving – but I have to learn swimming 1st - I'LL SKIP THIS,AHAHA..
8. go backpack to Europe – haha..nice2 - ANYONE?LETS JOM??
9. drink oranges juice only the whole day - DONE
10. watch every movie at the cinema in 1 day - NOT YET..DEMN
11. lepaking with my bestfriends at chilli’s - AWIN..PJA..CIK EMA..NURUL..NALINS..LETS JOM!!
12. go clubbing - NOT YET..DEMN AGAIN
13. smoke the whole box of cigarettes in 1 hour - DONE!!
14. listen to every single love song I can find in my room - DONE
15. take my picture every 1 minutes for the whole day - TMROW LA..EHEH
16. lepaking alone at starbuck with coffee only - DONE
17. send a different sms to every phone number in my handphone - NOT YET..
18. go karaoke.. - TODAY!!
19. learn tae kwon do back..& try to get black belt - SKIPPING!
20. try surfing..hahaha - I LOIKE!! ANYONE WITH ME?

...please...[part2]

hurm..last nite i felt like i've disappeared..
felt like i've vanished..
felt like i finally found peace..
but somehow..i've made people around me worried..
[sorry u guys..didnt meant to do tat..]
i just need my alone time..
need time to think..
need time to accept..
need time to figure.. how i really feel..
and somehow i never feel alone..
i guess i can feel u guys around me..ahahaha..bole?

please let me heal by myself..
i wont be self destructed..promise u tat!

please let me fly away..
n when i come back i'll be better..

please dun leave my side..
coz ur the reason for my tomorrow..

x0x0

dear..

dear..
do u noe how my heart look like rite now?
half of it is already with u..
a part of it is in thousand pieces..
n im picking it back one by one..slowly
but dear..
if u throw away the part that have already in ur hand rite now
then i am lost..
i'll be broken entirely
i wont survive..
and now..
its all in ur hand..

[cintamu]

Cintamu,
Yang kurasa walau tak terucap,
S'makin dalam
Cintamu,yang terukir di batas cintaku,
Selamanya

Tak pernah kumencoba,
Lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat,
Sejujurnya diriku terlalu sayang padamu
Kuingin s'lalu dalam,
Cintamu

Dan tiada yang kan memisahkan,
Selamanya
Cintamu,
Yang terlimpas, terbias matamu
S'lama ini

Adakah di hatimu,
Terbesit satu harapan untukku
Tuk berjanji selamanya kan selalu milikku

Satu cinta,
Tak pernah kumencoba,
Lepaskan cintamu walau sesaat,
Sejujurnya diriku terlalu sayang padamu
Kuingin s'lalu dalam,
Cintamu...

demn...!

its kinda late..n im still wide awake..
im thinkin to myself..will i survive this pain?
do i hv da strength to accept all this?
i've alwez tot im the bad ass..hahaha..
now it seems like ur screwing me..
n u noe wat..u 'kantoi' big time!
i nvr tot this day will come..had nvr xpected it
NEVER...!
and da pain u gave me..its just making me sicker..
no wonder all these while u acted
like i = doesnt matter..
like i = doesnt existed..
like u = didnt needed me..
all becoz u dun..really dun..

******sigh******

...please...

hurm..its late, im watching Manchester United playing against Birmingham..then sumthing makes me think, a whisper..wat had happened to me?wat really happen?i actly didnt noe..didnt really understand it either..

i've always believe there's no way i'll looked the other way other than this..other than wat i have rite now.but sumething happened n now i cant really looked back the way i used to before..i wonder wat had happen..did i lose my mind?or am im bored?wat had changed?can love just dies?or disappeared?is it even possible?then i remember a fren quote:

"Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds;
it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing"

so myb somewhere in the middle i lost my replenishing source? or did i got tired of all the blindness, errors n betrayals?and all tis makes the love dies..........

i just dunno..but wat im very sure rite now, if i ever found Love again..please let it stay n please dun make me turn my head another way again. please....coz i felt so tired, so weak, so fragile n so hopeless..sh0w me da way to keep my Love alive..please?

..fill in the blank..

Di sebalik kata ada rahsia
Di sebalik senyum ada makna
Kan kubisikkan padamu
Satu hari bila perlu
Saat pasti kau jadi milikku

Biarkanlah aku menanggung rindu
Biarkanlah engkau tiada tahu
Halus kasihku padamu
Zahirnya takku lihatkan
Hingga pasti kau jadi milikku

Entah bila bermula
Cinta yang tak kusangka
Mungkin terlalu lama
Sangsi asmara... terpedaya

Berlalulah masa tak sanggup ku menanti
Gelora di jiwa tak siapa mengerti
Siksanya menanggung rindu
Sukarnya memendam rasa... kekasih

..exactly h0w i feel..

Im sittin here
Thinkin b0ut

How im g0nna do with0ut

U ar0und in my life and h0w am I
I g0n' get by
I ain't g0t n0 days
Just l0nely nights
U want the truth
Well im n0t alright
Feel 0ut of place and 0ut 0f time
I think im g0nna l0se my mind
So tell me h0w U feel
Are U f0r real.....

why..?

why does 'this' hurt so much?
why cant 'this' be easier?
why cant my heart let go?
why cant my heart start listening to me?

i hv so many Q's n no answers..
all these Q's making me felt restless lar..demn!

U belong with me..!!

You're on the phone
With your girlfriend
She's upset
She's going off about
Something that you said
She doesn't get your humor
Like I do

I'm in my room
It's a typical tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music
She doesn't like
She'll never know your story
Like I do

But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain
And i'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see
That i'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
You belong with me.

Walking the streets
With you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey whatchu doing
With a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain
I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see
That i'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you
See you belong with me
Standing by and
Waiting at your backdoor
All this time
How could you not know
Baby
You belong with me
You belong with me.

[Instrumental]

Oh, I remember
You driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me

Can't you see
That i'm the one
Who understands
Been here all along
So why can't you see?
You belong with me.

Have you ever thought
Just maybe
You belong with me?